Inspired to Start Again

All right, as I follow so many blogs now, I am sensing the leading to return to this. I began this originally to get my prayer life going. I began to pray through facebook, and I still do to a degree, but some nights, I sense no leading to post a prayer. So maybe it's time to try this again.

First of all, I want to thank God yet again for the wonderful health He has given me and all His many blessings. I am currently reading The Murderer's Daughters by Randy Susan Meyers. It has certainly caught my attention maybe because I feel like I am reading the story of students I teach. Okay, not all of them--probably very few of them, actually--have ever experienced the loss of both parents in such a way, but there are those who probably feel like they have. Their parents are never around, and they have never felt true love. So they turn to drugs, sex, alcohol, and so much more.

Which brings me to my next prayer. God, please use me in the lives of those I teach. So I'm a sub. That merely means that God has allowed me to touch the lives of many different kids rather than just a few. I pray that I will always be a caring teacher and that I will not become jaded. I pray that as I enter each and every classroom that I will seek to show the students Your love in whatever way You choose.

Moving along. I pray for the members of our church who are now in Alaska seeking to minister in Your name. I know not what their plans are, but I know that there is much work to do. I pray that You, Oh God, will continue to direct me in this church in spite of anything that has happened.

My heart has been touched as I hear about these workers in Afghanistan. It reminds me of the time that I knew the missionaries who were killed in Yemen many years ago. I still have the precious thing that one of those martyrs made hanging in my room. It means the world to me, and I cannot part with it in spite of anything. I even crossed out the name of my ex-husband--but that's another story. I am very glad that I chose to keep it.

Lord God, I pray that You will guide my mom and me as we decide which Bible study to do together. I pray You will direct us to the right one. Lord God, I pray that as the upcoming school year comes that my daughter will turn to You. I sometimes worry that maybe she really doesn't know You and that I am not the best example to her. I pray that You will touch her in a special way this year and that she will desire to truly know You.

And finally, as the time grows closer for Martin to return, may You continue to work on his heart. May you strengthen me from within. I can only withstand temptation with Your help. I never see you as someone trying to spoil my fun--I'll wait. But I need Your help. And may Martin be saved sooner rather than later. Please.

If anyone does follow this blog, know that I spend about half of it praying to my Heavenly Father. I don't know how I will continue to keep this blog, but I pray that I shall deepen my relationship with God through this.

Another Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

How good You have been to me, Oh Lord God. Since I last wrote this prayer, You gave me a dream job out of the blue! To have this long term sub job in music. And You are using me in the lives of the students and Bart, I do hope.

My hormones are wacky tonight, God. I pray that I won't do anything foolish. I sure know what I want to do, but I don't want to do or say anything You wouldn' t have me do.

I want to pray for the situation at home. I know how Dad is affecting all of us, but most principally, Martin. My heart does cry for him. I long for him to be able to relax enough to just let it run off his back. I pray that You will use this time to bring him to You. He needs You--period. He doesn't need me nor Martha nor my mom, for that matter. He needs You--end of story.

Lord God, help me as I prepare for the tests I must take. Strengthen us all as we work around the house. I pray that You will continue to mold me into the woman of God You want me to be. I pray that You will guide me as I work with the students and as I work with the adults at church. May we bring glory to You as we sing.

In Your Name,
Amen

First Time in a While

Dear Heavenly Father,

I know I'm a little behind on here, but I have been praying quite a bit as you know. In fact, something really strange has been happening. Lord God, I have found that I am giving thanks in everything. Everything! Martin and I are physical--thank You. Martin refuses me--thank You. I lose my high school job to an elementary position--thank You. I find myself giving thanks in all circumstances. In fact, with the exception of my Dad, I don't feel like sitting around and complaining. I have really been putting into practice what You have been teaching me. Everything, Lord, is in Your hands. Romans 8:28--all things work together for good. You know it all, Lord. I still need help with living in the present. I still spend my time going too far in advance. I also still have tendencies to overreact and not roll with things, but it is better.

I do pray for Martin's salvation. He seriously is softening to the things of You, Lord. I can see it. He actually talks about church, the Bible, and Christianity. He still has his excuses--Dad is the major one. Lord God, I don't know what You have to do, but do it. I'm willing to wait. And sometimes, my faith fails me. But I know, Lord, that He will be saved, and we will be married.

Speaking of Martin, keep me from doing what I should not. Our physical relationship has really taken off in some amazing ways. It would be so easy for me to say "Go for it!" But God, I know that's wrong. I sometimes feel like I'm playing with fire. Please help me to keep my mouth shut. I so badly want to say something. I'm glad Martin is feeling better. Continue to heal him, and speak to Him as only You can.

I continue to pray about jobs. Lord, I pray You will always put me where You want me--not where I want to be. Help me to know Your will. Provide the job You want for me next year--either subbing or elsewhere.

I do pray for the rest of my family--Mom, Dad, David, Jane, Kristina, Alex, Katie, Nick, Grandma Bales, Frank and Ingrid, Bob and Judy. Please save those who don't know You. Use us in their lives. Bring the ones back to You that need to. I pray that I will be open to how You want to use me in their lives.

I pray that You will show me how You want me to serve at the church. I have lots of dreams and visions. Help me in all things.

In Your Holy Name,

Ruth

Quick Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

As I have read about Your Son, I realize that Jesus relied on His prayer life. It was important to Him to make His prayer life a priority. He didn't allow anything to take away His time with You. And if He thinks that it is important to spend time with You, then I must make it a priority. Especially now in light of things. Lord God, Saturday night floored me. I can't quite get my mind off it. I long to approach Him, but I'm not sure if I should. Please guide me, God. May I only do what You would have me do.

God, it seems like the time is getting away from me again. Please help me this week as I teach these children. Keep me safe, and keep all of us safe as we do work. I pray that You will guide and direct me in everything, Lord. May I only do what You would have me do. Please save Martin. He needs You. May I not continue to be interrupted. Tonight, I pray for Melody and Bill. I don't know where they are with You. I rarely think of them, but tonight I feel impressed to do so. May You get a hold of their lives and conform them to Your image.

In Your Name,

Amen

Quick Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Well, I did not make it to the concert of prayer. I really meant to go, but I think I have made peace with a few things. Until I get a steady job, I need to keep my extra activities at a minimum. I will continue to pray about what You would have me do, Lord. I will not feel guilty. I just know that You have things ready for me, and I need to take it one step at a time. Help me find the Easter music You want the church to sing. Lead me to the right one, I pray.

Lord, my heart cries for the family of Jennifer Paulson tonight. When I discovered the story, it really did remind me that life is precious, and one cannot take any of it for granted. That is one of the reasons I am home tonight. I pray for the families of all involved. My heart really cries for them. Help them as they work through their pain. Help all of us to be safe and rely on You for everything. There but for Your grace go I.

I continue to pray for the situation here at home. Lord God, I don't even know how to pray. I wish I did. I pray that You will give us strength, wisdom, guidance in knowing how to deal with him. I also pray that You will strengthen all of us as we continue to work together. It's not always easy, and I know many of us hurt. Help us all. And save my dearest one, I pray. Martin needs a Savior. He needs You. He needs much, but his greatest need is You, Lord. Show him that. Whatever You must do to get his attention, do it.

I pray for the protection of our family. All of us, God. I pray that You will lead me to the right job as I begin that search for next year. I pray also that You will help me on my test tomorrow--that I will recall all that I have studied and do it to the best of my ability.

I pray that You will become the central figure in our home. I feel that sometimes You are not. We tend to leave You out of the picture. May we not. May I begin to follow the example of Your Son. Yes, Your Son was Who He said He was, but He was also fully human. It is possible to have the prayer life and live a life like He did. We are called to as Christians. May You continue to change me into the woman of God You want me to be.

In Your Name,

Amen.

Prayer About Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father,

Lord God, I praise You for rescuing me from the pit. It is clear that I was in one last year at this time. I let the enemy place me there. And there I was. It was a hard time for me. I tried to enjoy my time only to discover where it ultimately led. Lord God, I want to come to You tonight and realize that I never want to be in a pit again, no matter what it may cost me. It cost Beth Moore the love of her mother. If it were to cost me the love of Martin or Martha or even a job, so be it. I refuse to remain in a pit. I may fall in because of something that happens, or it might be temporary place for me, but with Your help, I will never remain in one again.

Lord God, as I begin to study Your Holy Son's prayer life on this earth, may my spiritual eyes be open to what You would have for me. I long to be more Christlike. It is the desire of my heart. I keep thinking about what Ieisha said to me last week. She said that it is so good that I live in the present. Me? That must be You in me. The Ruth I have always known worries about the future and lives there. But I am learning to take everything as it comes. I am learning to live in the present with the help of Your Holy Spirit.

The thing that is draining all of us now is Dad. I don't know what to do, Lord God. I am fortunate in that I am away from it for several hours most days. But I know how it is affecting our family. All I can do is give the matter to You, and know that You will get us through it. My Dad will not change. Unfortunately, he has made that choice. I pray that You will help us through this time. Help Mom most of all. I know how much it affects her.

I pray that You will minister to Martin. How he needs You. I know that lately I have really been feeling you know how towards him. I want so much for something to happen. And yet I don't. I pray that You will continue to help me through my feelings and not approach him though I want to so much. Every time he takes my hands and squeezes it or hugs and kisses me good night firmly, I really feel something surge through me. He does, too. Thank You that he is too tired or too unwilling or too angry to act on his feelings.

As to Martha, I pray that You will help me to be an effective parent. I often feel that I am not. I want to spend time with Martha and show her how much I love her, but I am too tired or too unavailable. Help me in this area. May she herself want to be baptized without my suggesting it. May she long to study Your Word.

As to my church work, I'm not sure what You have in store. We're not doing so well with the Easter music. Guide me in that area. And as to my being the T & T director next year, guide me there as well. I only want to do it if You want me to. I don't want to make a commitment I cannot keep.

And my various tests. Lord God, please help me in that area. Lord God, I am no longer studying. May I recall the facts and pass it the first time.

I pray for Matt and his family. I thank You for their influence in my life. Guide them and keep them on the straight and narrow.

In Your Name,

Amen

Prayer Tonight

Dear Heavenly Father,

As I promised, I am trying this. I am going to do my best to post my prayers here because it is easily accessible, and it will keep me focused. So, Lord God, I begin with a major praise report from the weekend! God, I really did hear from you. I relate the Bon Jovi concert of Saturday night. I knew that You told me to buy the tickets for Martin. I went ahead and did it on faith, and things didn't look too bright. It seemed as though he wouldn't even be able to see the concert. I remember second guessing myself and asking You why I bought the tickets after all. And You said, "Just trust Me." I did. And You enabled Him to see it! It ended up being a good experience. One he and I shall not forget. What it did for me, Oh Lord, was to increase my faith. I knew that it was Your will, and even when things looked bleak, it was.

I now pray most humbly for Saturday and that test. I have studied very hard. I have not done the computerized test yet, but I tend to think I won't just because it would be good to lay it all aside unless I have time to go over it somehow. I have studied a lot, and I think the time may be upon me to quit studying, Lord. Please help me to pass all 3 tests the first time. I realize that it will not be easy, but I will be able to do it with Your help.

On to the rest of my prayer list. I pray, Lord God, for the salvation of my best friend, Martin. He has been in great need of You for so long, and he know it, but he is stubborn. Lord God, You know how I feel about him. I love him with an unending love that I just cannot do away with. He is my best friend and more, if the situation were to arise. I pray that Your Holy Spirit will draw him now to You. He is so distraught about life in general. I believe that he will have to go back to England at least one more time for him to realize that he needs You. I know You can change him in one moment. It happens all the time. But it is a process. My Dad not get in the way of what You want to do in Martin's, Martha's, Mom's, or my life. We all need You, Lord.

Give me guidance, Oh God, in raising my daughter. I know that she knows You, and I know she desires to be baptized. But Lord, she needs to be prepared to do it. She needs to be the one who hungers and thirsts after You. I do not have it within me to desire You for her. May she realize how much she needs You and truly begin to rely on You for herself. I pray that You will give me wisdom in teaching her obedience.

I don't know where to being with Dad except to say that we need to have grace--and lots of it--to deal with him. Please help us as we deal with him. May Satan not use him to wreak havoc on our family.

As to David, Kristina, Katie, Nick, Alex, Grandma Bales, and so many more, they need You. I don't even know how to pray. I pray that You will help Mom in the Bible study class tomorrow. And I pray that You will continue to use McKenna Community Church in our lives. Guide Pastor Matt and family.

As to practical moments, I pray for Martin's house to sell and for things to work out with my house and Brian and Audrey. Lord God, You know what is needed in every circumstance. Please help us, Lord. Bring the right person along in Martin's case. You know what is needed in every circumstance.

Lord God, this is the first post. While I may not get through every thing on my list, I feel better for at least having come to You in prayer tonight. Please help me to do it correctly.

In Your Name,

Amen