"Michal's Window" by Rachelle Ayala Book Review

Synopsis:

She lost it all in one agonizing moment...

Princess Michal is used to getting everything she wants, and she has her heart set on the young hero David. But their passionate love affair is destroyed by her father's murderous rage. Will David's departing promises be enough?

David the King is no longer the charming harpist she gave her heart to. The most powerful man in Israel, he falls into the arms of the beautiful Bathsheba.

Temptation comes in the form of a dashing Philistine warrior. Michal vows to be the only woman in David's heart, but does she know her own?

A novel of betrayal, forbidden love, and redemption, Michal's Window is an imaginative retelling of King David's story through the eyes of the woman who loved him first.

Content advisory: sexual situations, blood and violence


Michal's Window by Rachelle Ayala
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Let me begin by saying that in my time, I have read many books that would be classified as Biblical fiction.  Oftentimes, I really like them, and it is often a treat to see how someone else envisions a familiar story from the Bible.  This book is probably the most fascinating book in this genre that I have ever read.  I found myself considering many portions of the story of David that I have never thought of before.  When most people think of King David, they think of Goliath and Bathsheba.  And we are often reminded that David was a man after God's own heart.  We might also think of his being in the line of Christ.  And he did right the majority of our Psalms in the Bible.  What I appreciate about this story is that we see David in all his humanity and folly.  He was a sinner, and he was a human just like us.  He made a myriad of mistakes, and yet God still chose to use him.  What a comfort that should be to us.

I don't want to give away the story, but I had not even given much though to Michal.  After all, she was Saul's daughter, David's first wife, and she despised him in her heart when the Ark came back to Jerusalem.  And she also loved David.  I always had her characterized as a pretty vindictive woman, and I figured her life ended after Scripture recorded that she would remain barren.  But somehow seeing the well-known (and not so well-known) stories of David through Michal's eyes, gave me a very different perspective on things.  I have just finished a study on the life of David, and this was a great follow-up.  Do I think that the story is 100 percent accurate?  Probably not.  But I have never had Biblical fiction make me think so much.  And although I knew David was flawed, perhaps he had more flaws than I realized.

I only have a couple minor criticisms.  Since this book is an Old Testament story, there should have been an Old Testament understanding of the afterlife.  That is a hard thing to accomplish, but I would have preferred not seeing Michal talk about mansions and angels.  It was a small part of the book, and I can't complain too much.  But she would have had no knowledge of such things.  I also found that the dialogue was very modern as opposed to B.C.  Again, this is a minor issue, but I did want to bring it up.  I loved the interactions between the characters, but sometimes it was definitely not "period."

This book is thankfully free of profanity and descriptive violence.  I am so pleased to say that, but let me warn you that there are sexual encounters that occur that are sometime hot and heavy.  Most of the time, these occur between married individuals--usually David and Michal.  I was never offended.  In fact, I can only hope that David was truly that great of a lover!  But this book would not be intended for young adults--definitely adult readers only.  And rest assured that all bedroom scenes are incredibly tasteful.

This book is one that I can whole-heartedly recommend to anyone who loves the Bible, history, and even romances.  There is no preaching in the book, and the story is extremely readable.

I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.  I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.


View all my reviews

For more information, please check out the author's blog and facebook.

Interested in buying the book?
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B007CVT9F2/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B007CVT9F2&linkCode=as2&tag=rachswind-20

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

"John's Gospel" by Lee Harmon Blog Tour Promo

I have a really good excuse for why I have not reviewed this book yet.  The book only arrived today!  But it will get reviewed.  But today, I am promoting it.

The Bible You Don’t KnowAuthor Lee Harmon says you’ll never read the Bible the same way again

MINNEAPOLIS - The Bible is not a cookie cutter one-size-fits-all book. But, neither is Christianity.

Author and Bible scholar Lee Harmon learned this the hard way, having jettisoned the religious strictures of an overconservative Christian fellowship. Raised in a fundamentalistic atmosphere, Harmon later came to understand that no religious belief is absolutely ‘right’ or ‘wrong.' Rather, each of our beliefs is formed through our unique life experiences and is therefore valid through our own eyes.

In his upcoming book, John’s Gospel: The Way It Happened (March 2013), Harmon applies this concept to one of the most quoted, but often misunderstood, books of the Bible.

For anyone who thinks the Book of John is a difficult read, Harmon makes it accessible. He examines the book through the eyes of John himself. By masterfully combining fact with fiction, he paints a more complete picture of events in the New Testament.

“Liberal or conservative, this book will whet your appetite and entice you to take another look at the mysterious Gospel of John,” says Mark Townsend, author ofJesus Through Pagan Eyes.

While people often interpret the Bible with a clinical, isolated approach, Harmon reminds readers that the Bible was written by real men, struggling through real life, facing real conflict. Seeing the Bible as a living, breathing story, it becomes more than just words on a page. Harmon invites readers to experience the Bible the way they were meant to—through the eyes of the men who wrote it—and interprets it in a way that spiritually inspires and reveals the universal humanitarian philosophies espoused by Jesus.

As a child, Harmon’s strict religious home taught that Christianity is the only way to God—and that his particular sect was the only right Christianity. But as an adult, Harmon teaches that God speaks to us all differently. In John’s Gospel, he examines how God spoke to John, sharing new insight into the Bible that everyone can appreciate.

"Question everything you thought you knew about God and Christianity. Evolve as a person. Be entertained by a centuries old adventure," he says.

LEE HARMON  (Dubiousdisciple.com) lives near the Twin Cities in Lino Lakes , Minn. , where he enjoys a career as an author, historical Jesus scholar, and Christian blogger. He is also the author of Revelation: The Way it Happened. Learn more at Thewayithappened.com.

If you read this promo, you might be concerned about me, but don't be.  I do like to read things sometimes that challenge my beliefs, and I look for this to be one of those books.  I am comfortable reading books from other religions and perspectives.  I often find that doing so strengthens what I believe.  So look for a review in the near future!

"Twelve Unlikely Heroes" by John MacArthur Book Review

What kind of people does God use to accomplish His work?

Far from the children’s tales depicted in picture books and nursery rhymes, the men and women highlighted in the Bible were unnervingly real. They faltered. They struggled. And at times, they fell short. Yet God worked through them in surprising and incredible ways to accomplish His purposes. Scripture does not hide their weaknesses, caricature their strengths, or spin their stories as a display of human nobility. Instead, it describes these heroes of the faith with unflinching honesty and delivers an unexpected ending:“God is not ashamed to be called their God” (Hebrews 11:16).

In Twelve Unlikely Heroes, pastor and best-selling author John MacArthur uses his deep knowledge of the Bible and history to take us back to see these three-dimensional men and women in their own times and cultures. In doing so, it becomes clear how their dramatic stories apply to us today. People who might at first seem foreign quickly become familiar and unforgettable—particularly as they reveal the true Hero behind every witness, the power counterbalancing every weakness, “the Author and Finisher of our faith” (Hebrews 12:1).

Twelve Unlikely Heroes: How God Commissioned Unexpected People in the Bible and What He Wants to Do with You by John F. MacArthur

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I am familiar with John MacArthur's ministry, but this is probably the first book of his I have ever read.  And I was completely impressed.  This book is Biblically based, rooted in conservative theology.  He introduces us (or reminds us) of twelve very unlikely people in Scripture whom God used to do great things.  You will find yourself reminded and inspired by these stories, and I learned things about Bible characters I had known all my life.  MacArthur has a way of writing that is easy to read but deep and penetrating.  He brings in his love and understanding of Scripture and history, and this book works very well as a devotional/Bible study.  I would highly recommend this book to all people who would like to read an uplifting book for their private (or small group) devotional studies.  I plan to read this book again because there is no way I picked up everything the first time!

I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.  I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.

View all my reviews

Buy the book here.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze®.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

"Your Daily Bible Verse" by Rachelle Ayala Book Review

Bible Verses correlated by Month and Day to Chapter and Verse starting from January 1 and Genesis 1:1 to December 31 and Mark 12:31. Need a memory verse? or a life verse? Curious which verse correlates to your birthday or anniversary? There's a special verse for each of the 366 days of the year. Includes Bible Verse Memorization tips. [all verses from the King James Bible]







Your Daily Bible Verse: 366 Verses Correlated by Month and Day by Rachelle Ayala
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I think the concept behind this book is amazing!  Memorization of the Bible is something that does not seem to be as popular as it once was.  I don't think people even talk about it like they did when I was growing up.  I was a champion when it came to memorizing Scripture, but as an adult, I have kind of fallen off the wagon.

This book has a different verse to memorize for each day of the year.  All verses come from the King James Bible, and all verses are correlated to the month and day.  For example, the verse for January 1 (1/1) is Genesis 1:1.  My birthday is June 13 (6/13), and the verse is 1 Kings 6:13.  This is unique idea, and I plant to enjoy memorizing more verses as I follow the book this year.

Are you in need a quick devotional that will give you a verse for the day?  This may just be the book for you.  Everyone can read one verse every day.

I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.  I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.


View all my reviews

Be sure to check out the author's website and follow her on facebook.  

Want to buy the book?

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/your-daily-bible-verse-rachelle-ayala/1112420794?ean=2940044755611
http://www.amazon.com/Your-Daily-Bible-Verse-Correlated/dp/1478362847/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1357507938&sr=1-1&keywords=Your+daily+bible+verse+rachelle

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

A First Look at "The American Bible Challenge" Review

GSN presents a first look at THE AMERICAN BIBLE CHALLENGE, an original one-hour game show hosted by comedian Jeff Foxworthy, premiering on Thursday, August 23 at 8 pm ET/PT.

Comedian and author Jeff Foxworthy hosts this studio-based game, in which contestants compete based on their knowledge of the Bible.  Utilizing current as well as historical references, questions will be drawn from the rich, dense narrative found in the world's best-selling book.  The contestants will share their compelling backstories, and each team will be playing for a charitable organization.

THE AMERICAN BIBLE CHALLENGE is produced by RelativityREAL for GSN, with RelativityREAL’s Tom Forman (“Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”) and Embassy Row’s Michael Davies ("The Newlywed Game," "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire") serving as Executive Producers on the project.  Nick Stuart and Maura Dunbar of Odyssey Networks are Consulting Producers.

My daughter and I had an opportunity to preview this show, and we absolutely loved it!  I was pleased with Jeff Foxworthy from the beginning.  We both love him from "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"  And I was impressed with his Bible knowledge.  My daughter and I both loved the show and watched it in its entirety.  I do pride myself on being somewhat of a Bible scholar, but even I didn't know everything!  I got some of the questions wrong.

I love the fact that the teams all play for charities.  And even the losing teams get some money for the charities.  I also love the fact that there is a gospel choir that provides fantastic music!  The hour went by so quickly as we previewed this show, and it never lagged for us once.

This show will be premiering on Thursday (see above for details), and I am going to get my DVR set up.  My mom has not seen this show, and I told her that she would love it.  Our favorite section?  "Faithbook!"  (No spoilers!  Be sure to watch it, and you will know why!)

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GSN sent me a free preview of this show in exchange for my honest review.  I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.

"Made to Crave" by Lysa TerKeurst Book Review, Home Bible Study, and Random Thoughts

Summary from goodreads:  According to bestselling author Lysa TerKeurst, craving isn't a bad thing, but we must realize God created us to crave so we'd ultimately desire more of Him in our lives. Many of us have misplaced that craving, overindulging in physical pleasures instead of lasting spiritual satisfaction. For a woman struggling with unhealthy eating habits, Made to Crave will equip her to: *Break the 'I'll start again Monday cycle' and start feeling good about herself today*Stop beating herself up over the numbers on the scale and make peace with the body you've been given*Discover how weight loss struggles aren't a curse but, rather, a blessing in the making*Replace justifications that lead to diet failure with empowering go-to scripts that lead to victory*Eat healthy without feeling deprived*Reach a healthy weight goal while growing closer to God through the processMade to Crave session titles include: Session 1: From Deprivation to EmpowermentSession 2: From Desperation to DeterminationSession 3: From Guilt to PeaceSession 4: From Triggers to Truth Session 5: From Permissible to BeneficialSession 6: From Consumed to CourageousBonus Session: Moving the MountainThe Made to Crave DVD is designed for use with the Made to Crave Participant's Guide.

Made to Crave: Satisfying Your Deepest Desire with God, Not Food by Lysa TerKeurst

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

When I began this book, I almost wondered, "Why am I doing this? I am at a fairly healthy weight. I don't have a problem with food." But I like Proverbs 31 ministries, and I had done some other studies with them, so I decided I would give it a try.


From the beginning, Lysa's book spoke to me. I discovered that God made me to crave Him, nothing else. I had tried to fill my life with many other things except Him. And even if you don't have a weight problem, this book will speak to whatever you crave instead of God.


I appreciated Lysa's easy-to-read style, and I was convicted every time I turned around. Remember how I said food wasn't my problem? It wasn't. My issue was sex. And I was able to apply all the principles of this book to this particular issue.


I love the fact that this is not just another how-to book. It is all about getting your want-to. We were made to crave God, and this book will change your life if you let it!

View all my reviews

I thought I would take a moment to tell you that God led me to lead this Bible study in my home.  We just completed the second week this morning, and although we only have three participants, it is a great group.


Our church is going through a difficult time right now.  Our pastor had to step down since he and his wife got separated.  We have had a great fill-in pastor, but you can imagine it has been a time of growing for our church.  All in all, things are going pretty well.


My mom and I teamed up together for this Bible study.  We both wanted a Bible study that was kid-friendly.  I have been a single mother for so long, and I know how it feels when all you can think about is if your child can come to an activity or if there is child care.  And normally there is no place for my daughter.  I am blessed that I can take her with me--she is used to it.  But that is not the case for every parent.


This Bible study has been a huge blessing to one of the ladies who has four children age nine and younger. Last week, they kept my mom and daughter very busy.  And this week, they were so excited about coming over.  And the mother finally can have some time to do a Bible study.


As I have been teaching the study, the DVD's have touched my heart.  And I have been very honest with the ladies.  I have faced my issues, and I found myself thanking God for this blog.  It is nice to have a place where I can come and share my thoughts and feelings.  And who doesn't love a giveaway?


If you get a chance, I recommend you pick up this book.

Passages and The Daily Audio Bible Blog Tour Book Review

Welcome to the blog tour campaign for Brian Hardin's Passages: How Reading the Bible in a Year will Change Everything For You and the Daily Audio Bible. Be sure to grab the Daily Audio Player (below) and listen along with Brian.

We're thrilled to offer these excellent resources from Zondervan and Brian Hardin. Brian's unique approach to reading the Bible makes doing so accessible no matter your lifestyle. In Passages he delves into why reading the Bible changes our lives, our hearts, our futures. Then Brian invites you to join him on a Bible reading journey as he reads through the Bible, shares a devotion and offers commentary on his Daily Audio Bible Podcasts. (Available in a Kids Edition and in Spanish, Japanese, Arabic, Portuguese, and Chinese.) Designed to fit your lifestyle, the the podcasts can be listened to online or downloaded from iTunes for free. Or grab the DAB phone app. Listen while in the car, while doing chores around the house, while working, or in your quiet time. Daily Audio Bible goes where you go. Start January first or on any day of the year. And be sure to join the exciting DAB community!

John Eldredge, Author of Wild at Heart, Love and War and Beautiful Outlaw had this to say about Passages:
I told Brian I'd read his book as a favor. But in Chapter One I got caught. This is a beautiful book -- human, sensitive, funny, well-written, and deeply spiritual. It answered questions I didn't even know I had. I'm longing fore the Bible to take a richer place in my life. Anyhow, read it. You'd be glad you did. Really.

How Reading the Bible in a Year will Change Everything For You Many Christians feel guilty when they think of reading the Bible. Though they want to love reading Scripture, they rarely have time for more than a few verses on the run. But the Bible is not meant to be a burden. It is the story of God’s passionate love for His children. It is also not a book of mystical incantations. It is a best friend offering counsel and companionship. And it is not a distant relic, but something very near. Near enough, in fact, to be every reader’s story.

So how do Christians delight in this story rather than see it as a source of failure? The founder of the immensely popular Daily Audio Bible, Brian Hardin shows readers how reading through the Bible in a year will change their life and the lives of others. Passages shows readers how to read the Bible and offers practical ideas for immersing themselves in God’s life-giving words. Here readers will discover that reading the Bible can be a breathtaking adventure.

Passages Book Trailer from Brian Hardin on Vimeo.

All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17) Vision Statement: Our ultimate goal is to provide the spoken Word of God to as many people as will listen in every region of the world that God will allow using whatever means God will allow for as long as God will allow. To be people of the Scriptures, fervent in prayer and having a daily and intimate walk with God. To build stable and Christ honoring community as we take our place in the global advancement of the Kingdom of God.

Mission Statement: The Daily Audio Bible is committed to guiding Christian's worldwide into an intimate and daily friendship with the Bible. This is accomplished by providing the spoken Word of God freely in multiple languages and by the creation and establishment of communities that have no geographical limitations. Our efforts are devoted to exposing the rich texture and heritage of the Bible's life changing power by educating the Believer on how to engage in and interact with the ancient Scriptures in a future world.

Daily Bible Reading & Devotion!

Passages: How Reading the Bible in a Year Will Change Everything for You by Brian Hardin
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I don't know how I have gone this long in the Christian blogosphere without hearing about Brian Hardin and his Daily Audio Bible community.  But at least I know now, and all I can say is wow!  This is the story of the journey that Brian Hardin has been taking through the Scriptures since 2006, and it is well worth the read.

As I read this story, I was impressed with the wonderful way Brian Hardin wrote the book and truly made the Bible come alive.  So many times we tend to put the Bible on the backshelf, and Hardin had done that himself.  When he accepted the ministry that God gave him, his life changed in unbelievable ways.  He prayerfully wrote this story, and I believe that God gave the very some words that so encapsulated what the Bible is.  The Bible should be like a friend to us, and we should lovingly seek it.  After all, how can we know who God is without reading His Word?

I loved the fact that Hardin included so many real life stories from people whose life had changed as they made Daily Bible reading (listening) a significant part of their lives.  And it was amazing to see a man who used to only care about music and women become an instrument of God who has touched so many lives.  This is a short, powerful read, and it was well worth the read.

At the end of the book, he has Daily Bible reading plans you can follow, but for me, I am going to go check out his community.  He challenges his readers to read the Bible for themselves, and it is clear that your life will change for eternity.  I am a regular Bible reader, but even I have had times when I did not take my daily devotional time seriously.  He has inspired me to return to my love of Scripture, and I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.  I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.


View all my reviews

{More about Brian Hardin}

Brian Hardin is a speaker, photographer, record producer and an ordained minister. In 2006, he created the Daily Audio Bible, an online podcast that now delivers 1.5 million downloads a month. He has produced over 150 albums and works with artists and the arts extensively. He is married to Christian musician Jill Parr. Find out more about Brian at www.dailyaudiobible.com. To follow the entire tour, click here.

Solution Sunday--Challenge Update, Not a Whole Lot But Better Than Nothing

I have two challenges to update tonight.  I am very busy reading books for other challenges, but here is what happened this week.

No, I do not have my pictures ready yet, but I am happy to report that I am still working very hard on my room.  I hoped to have it done this weekend, but I took my daughter to an Easter Egg Hunt, and then we went to see Soul Surfer (She got sick during it, and we had to leave).  Then I did a 4-hour shopping trip today for my family.  So therefore I didn't get as much done as I would like, but my dressers are organized inside, and my closet has only a couple hot spots yet.  So I am pretty excited about my progress.

As to this week, my plan is to finally finish the left side of my room.  I will then take a picture of it and show you the before and after pictures.  I know that it is best to have pictures every week.  I know I always look for the pictures.  But for some reason, I struggle to get into the habit of taking pictures for my blog.  Maybe I can start the habit this summer so I can continue it when I got back to work.  Forgive my negligence.  Blogging is still a novelty for me.

Solution Sunday--I am Back on Track!

First of all, I am sorry this is late.  My computer was so slow last night that I couldn't post this.last night.  I tried countless times.  So my apologies.

Yes, I know I dropped this challenge, but I did so much this week to get caught up!  It was awesome.  While I don't have the pictures yet (maybe next week), let me tell you what I did this week!

I cleaned out and organized my daughter's room.  I went through all her clothes and got rid of what did not fit.  I organized and put away her toys.  We put up things on the wall that we needed to.  And she helped.  Her room looks good.  I didn't even think about taking pictures of her room before--sorry.  I'll try to get a picture of it now.  

I also started cleaning out my room.  I was able to get through all the magazines that I couldn't for several weeks!  I cleaned out my basket, and I got rid of magazines I didn't like or need.

I am pretty happy about all I did this past week!  I am on a roll.  So, I am back in this challenge, and I will continue my room this week,.  My goal is to get the worst half of my room done this week.  I think it is doable.  I have the before pictures of this, and if I get it done by next week, I will certainly take the after picture and post both.

This week I finished my year of reading through the Bible!  I chose to read it in version called The Message. I read it online, and it felt good to finish it.

Now the book I have chosen to read is Revelation.  This was not the original book I chose.  I thought I was going to read Revelation.  But in light of current world events, what we are studying at my church, and the way Revelation intrigued me as I read it towards the end of my Bible reading, I knew this was the book I was going to choose.  I am going to use the following commentary to help me as I read.

Operation Deepen Faith Challenge

Here a new challenge for the year!  Becky @ Operation Actually Read the Bible has this challenge going for all of 2011.  I am not sure what book I will study.  I will probably go to the Old Testament.  I plan to tackle both parts of the challenge.  You know, I think I will go with the Book of Proverbs first.  I plan to do at least Level 1--read it in 3 translations.  Maybe I'll read it in 6 different translations for Level 2.  We'll see.

As for the second part of the challenge, I commit to read 2-4 theological books.  Here are the books I plan to read:

Christians are Hate-Filled Hypocrites and other lies you have been told by Bradley White

Quiet Strength by Tony Dungy

Neither one of these is the traditional theological book--I realize that.  But I believe the first book can really challenge me since it comes from secular media as well as Christian.  And I love Tony Dungy.  I love his Christian stance, and I he is the only football coach that I respect as much as I do.

So there is my challenge.  If you want to join up, don't forget to click on the picture--it will take you to her blog to sign up!

Solution Sunday--It's Not About What I Do

Okay, hold onto your hats--yep, I'm posting another spiritual thought.  God has truly been teaching me so much, and during church (really Sunday School), He yet again revealed something to me that I wasn't even thinking about.

When I first "fell in love" with my ex, I spent all my time trying to please him.  I was willing to do almost anything to be with him.  I ate four meals a day and gained a good ten pounds when I had not gained any weight that semester.  I even made myself sick one day when he was gone all day and I was supposed to go to a singing engagement with a girl's group.  I called in sick--I really thought I was.  It was all emotional, but I didn't know that till later.  I began studying in the library--me?  I never studied in the library.  I even got in trouble in the library, and it was all related to him.  They tried to throw me out.  I skipped class.  My goodness, I did a lot to get him to fall for me, didn't I?

And that is how I spent the next almost 10 years of my life.  I spent them trying to please him.  I did whatever he wanted.  Yes, I let him control me.  You see, before he came along, no guys except the scum of the earth ever showed an interest in me.  Paul made it very clear that his love for me was based on what I do, not who I was.  But in my naivety and ignorance, I thought that was normal.

And after all, why should I be surprised?  My relationship with my Heavenly Father was basically the same.  I felt that as a Christian, I had to do certain things.  Okay, so I didn't have to do anything to be saved.  That was the free gift.  But to keep God happy, I think I tended to buy into the idea that I needed to do this and this and that.  God would love me more if I did this or didn't do that.  And sometimes I tended to think that God was like Paul.  When I messed up, I think I tended to imagine that God would punish me somehow.

Proof of this feeling even shows up in recent times.  Satan tried to put me under condemnation even today as I was remembering how I was late to work this week.  Maybe God would remove me from that distirct, and I wouldn't be able to work there any more.  When I didn't get a teaching job last school year, I tended to think that this was God's way of punishing me for making a move back here to Washington state.  I sometimes still expect fire and brimstone when I forget to do my Bible reading (like I did yesterday).

When I was married to Paul, he never pointed out when I did something right (except in the bedroom, but even those were few and far between).  He waited for me to mess up, and he was the first to point out when I was wrong.  Even after I tried to break away from him, I still read book after book and was led to believe that if I did what Dr. Phil or Oprah said, I could fix my marriage.  And sometimes, it worked.  I can remember a day when Paul and I cried together and talked--really talked.  But that was it.  Pretty soon, the criticisms returned.

Now that I am out from under that bondage, I am fully willing to embrace the fact that it is only by God's grace that I can make it in this life as His child.  There is not one thing I can do without Him to please Him.  It is not about trying harder, but it is about being controlled by His Spirit.

Amazingly, it is my friend, Martin, who has taught me the most about this kind of unconditional love.  While he and I are not romantically involved, we love each other unconditionally and always have.  I can remember how often I used to worry that if I said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing, he would no longer be my friend.  After all, Paul was like that as were so many of my friends growing up.  Even God was, or so I thought.  There were so many times that I felt so far away from God because I continued to mess up.  And every time I tried harder, it just got worse.

The time that showed me just how much Martin loved me was a time back a couple years ago when we had such a sharp disagreement that I sent him a very nasty e-mail.  I was angry, and in I knew after I sent it that  I shouldn't have.  It was the worst day I ever had at work.  All I could do was think about how much I had hurt Martin and that he would stop being my friend.  Yes, it took some time to heal our friendship, but the thing that showed me exactly how much he loved me was that he picked me up from work.  He let me ride next to him in  the car.  And when I tried to apologize, he actually blamed himself more than anything.  Within a couple weeks, we were closer than we had ever been, and it was as if nothing had ever happened.



If that isn't a deep thought, I don't know what  is.  As I write this, I don't think I can even grasp everything I have written.  But what I do know is this.  Paul never loved me unconditionally in spite of everything.  He loved me for what I did, how I tried to please him, and how I would fit into his future plans.  He figured he could make me into the person he wanted me to be.  And I tried, but I just couldn't become that person.

Thankfully, the solution to all this is that God loves me for who I am in Him.  And, dear reader, you need to embrace this truth if you are God's child.  Don't do what I did for nearly 30 years.  Trust solely in God.  Let Him live through you!

Solution Sunday--It is About Our Identity, Not Our Behavior (and an organizational fix)

Well, church was really good again today.  Really, it was Sunday School.  And God used my mom to reveal a truth I had not really thought about.

If we are truly Christians, should we really refer to ourselves as "sinners saved by grace"?  I bet we could really have a debate about this.  Are we saints?  Oh, no, we are not Catholics.  We don't use the term "saint" in our church.  And after all, you might be thinking, of course we are sinners.  And of course, we were saved by grace. After all, Adam sinned, and we have a sin nature.  We can't help it.

I am sorry, my dear readers, but I hate to disagree with you.  According to Scripture, before we are saved, we have no choice but to sin.  Just read the book of Romans.   As the book goes on, the question is asked should we continue to sin after we are saved?  Some might say that we should.  The more we sin, the more grace we receive as Christians.  Sorry, but when we become Christians, we no longer have to sin.  We make the choice to sin.  I remember in college when I was taking the book of Romans (I went to Bible college) how this changed my thinking.  As Christians, we make the conscious decision to sin.  We are free from sin.  We have been given a brand new spirit.  And the real struggle is that our spirit wants to follow God, but our bodies and souls sometimes do not allow the spirit to dominate us.

When we refer to ourselves as "sinners saved by grace," I believe that we give ourselves the freedom to sin.  We have an excuse.  When we mess up, we can say, "Well, I'm just a sinner anyway.  I can't help it."  That is flawed thinking.  Once we are saved, we become saints.  God gives us a brand new spirit.  We make the choice to sin.  But we don't have to.

So what is it that saves us?  Is is God or what we do for Him or both?  I think I would have said that my behavior absolutely must match what I say I am and it if doesn't, I have to do better.  It is up to me to work hard and fight against sin.  I must resist.  I must do this.  I must do that.  How wrong we are!!  It is all about God, not us.  He does the work in us.  It is His new spirit within us that we need to let do the work.  It is not about us--it's about Him.

Now I am not saying that we are totally absolved of responsibility.  But I also know that I have spent too much time trying to do the right thing.  I will give you the perfect example.  I've mentioned certain things concerning my relationship with Martin before--my friend in England.  He is not saved at this point, and I am very much in love with him. He is drawn to me, but he refuses to say he is in love with me.  There is a certain electricity between us that causes us to sometimes be tempted to do certain things.  It's hard for me because I am a Christian, and I have to draw the line.  I have to stop and make it very clear that this is the boundary line.  I prided myself on being able to stop.  I could do it because God was there with me, and I would not do it.  And so far, I had prided myself on being able to stop.  But I still felt that I wasn't pleasing God and doing what I should do.

In church today, God pointed out to me that it was not up to me to stop myself.  I needed to let the new spirit within me control my flesh and my soul.  My flesh cries out for Martin.  I want him.  But if I can let God control me, I will be able to resist temptation.  I have been worried for a while that I wouldn't be able to resist.  I had seen blogging as my escape hatch.  I was going to blog and blog and blog so that I could ignore Martin and make sure that nothing happens between us.  There I go again--I was trying to do it on my own.  I CAN'T!  So I have given it over to God.  And I know that if allow God's Spirit within me to control me, I will not fall into temptation.

My mom said something very profound,  She said that we need to stop responding to our fellow believers based on their behavior--we should base it on their identity.  We often don't embrace who  we are in the Lord.  We are not sinners saved by grace,  and all of us Christians would live a lot differently if we could change our thinking.  Because God is holy, we are holy.  Before the Lord, we are without blame because when God looks at us, He sees Christ.  I know it's an unusual thought, but trust me, it is a freeing thought.  I am still grasping it--truth be known.

Quick solution I am committed to this week is the following:
I will spend 10 minutes each day this week (at least) doing something around the house.  I will put the computer down at that time, and just do it.  I did a lot of work  today, and I feel really good about it.  I will keep you up to date on how I do this.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings tonight.  I surely hope I made sense!  Or I should say, I hope that God spoke through me to your heart.  At least you have something to think about.  And please do ponder it.