Shameless
by Cheryl Douglas
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BLURB:
Trey
Turner may be topping the country music charts, but his life has been going
downhill since his wife left him five years ago. He's desperate to make amends
for the mistakes he's made and convince Sierra their love deserves a second
chance.
Sierra
Brooks is happy for the first time since her divorce. She has a career she
loves, and a man who loves her. Unfortunately, the man she intends to marry
isn't the only one professing his love for her. He may be able to offer her
safety and security, but will she decide to risk everything for another chance
with the man who broke her heart?
Read an Excerpt
Chapter
One
Trey
Turner tipped the plastic bottle and watched the little white pills scatter
across the desktop. One would take the edge off; twenty would end it all. He
considered his options. He wasn’t ready to give up; he couldn’t do that to his
family.
He
put one of the pills on his tongue and swallowed it with a mouthful of scotch
as the phone rang. He knew it was the morning radio show calling to interview
him. His manager, Luc Spencer, had arranged it and, despite his protests, Luc
insisted it was necessary. The public was demanding answers; it was time to end
the speculation.
He
checked the call display and pushed the button to activate the call. “Hello.”
“Trey,
Johnny Madson, KX790 in Nashville
Trey
rubbed his eyes, willing the pill to take effect. “I’m good.”
“We’re
going live in three minutes. Stand by.”
Trey
endured the longest three minutes of his life as he waited for the radio host
to return. He glanced at the list of questions and answers his publicist,
Avery, had provided. He’d been doing this long enough to know they always
surprised you with questions they knew were off-limits. He hoped he was sharp
enough to dodge the bullets this morning.
“Trey,
we’re live. Our listeners are anxious to hear about what’s been happening with
the king of country music. Where’ve you been, man?”
“I’ve
been in the studio working on the next album.”
“That’s
what we like to hear. Tell me, when do you plan to release it?”
“By
early next year, I hope.”
“Can
we assume you’re planning a world tour to promote the new album?”
In
his current state of mind, just the thought of a tour was overwhelming, but he
owed it to his fans and his label. “That’s the plan, Johnny.”
“Good
stuff. I know your fans are looking forward to that. We get calls and emails
about you every day. People want to know what you’ve been up to. They’re dying
to know when the new album’s coming out.” He laughed. “The pressure’s on, man.”
“Yeah,
I know. I plan to deliver the goods.” If only he could figure out how to break
through the mother of all creative blocks and write a song he wouldn’t be
embarrassed to attach his name to.
“So
why did you decide to sign with a new record label, Trey?”
Because
my old label was putting pressure on me to get off my ass and produce a record,
he thought, considering the fall-out if he came clean. He was tempted to tell
the truth and accept the ramifications. He was so tired of living a lie,
pretending to be the man, the musician, everyone expected him to be. “There was
just a difference of opinion with the old label. No hard feelings.”
“Are
you expecting this album to go platinum like all the others?”
Platinum,
hell he would be satisfied if it didn’t end his career. “We’ll see what
happens, Johnny. It’s up to the public to decide.”
“So,
you’ve been spotted around town with some of the most beautiful women in Nashville
He
clenched his jaw in frustration. He had come to expect this question, but he
still resented it. “No, not really.” Megan would take offense, but he didn’t
care.
“You
are one of the most eligible bachelors in the world. Think you’ll ever marry
again?”
“No.”
The only woman he wanted to call his wife was determined to forget he was
alive. He’d had his one chance at forever and he blew it. He sure as hell
didn’t deserve another one.
“Can
you tell us about the car wreck you were involved in last year, Trey? We
understand a woman and young child were killed. Your Hummer and their mini-van
were hit by the driver of a tractor trailer who fell asleep at the wheel,
right? Rumour has it you were lucky to escape with your life. That would have
been a hell of a loss for country music, man.”
Trey
wanted to tell him the loss of life that occurred was much more valuable than
his, but he kept his mouth shut. He could imagine the headlines: Country
Superstar Trey Turner Wishes He Had Been the One to Die in Fatal Crash.
“I’d
rather not discuss that, Johnny.”
“Sure,
I understand. We’ve all heard you’ve fallen off the wagon after three years of
sobriety. Is that true, Trey?”
He
glanced at the highball of scotch to his right. “I’d rather not get into it.”
Which he knew was akin to admitting guilt. His manager and publicist would go
ballistic, not to mention his record label. He had to end this call or risk
digging himself a deeper hole. “Look, man, it’s been good talking to you, but I
gotta roll.”
“Yeah,
sure. Thanks for talking to us, Trey. We’re all looking forward to the new
album, so don’t keep your fans waiting too long.”
“I’ll
try not to. Thanks, Johnny.” He pressed the button to end the call.
His
hand shook as he reached for the crystal glass. He took a long swallow of the
amber liquid, savouring the familiar burn on the way down. He knew it was
toxic, eating him alive from the inside out. He hated that he needed it, hated
the fact that alcohol was the only thing that seemed to take the edge off and
calm the fear and anxiety so he could get through another day.
He
looked up at the ceiling. “What the hell am I gonna do?” he whispered. He
needed help, was desperate for guidance, but had no idea where to turn. His
faith had been tested to the limits, and he couldn’t face the idea of admitting
the truth to his friends and family. He had never felt so alone.
He
knew that every day he lived without creative inspiration was another day
closer to sealing his fate. He couldn’t stall his manager and record label
forever. They expected answers and he knew he had to tell them the truth; his
career was over. But every time he tried to tell his best friend and manager,
he panicked. He was terrified that, without music, he was looking into the
abyss of a dark, empty, meaningless future. His music was the only thing he had
left.
He
pulled the newspaper clipping out of his desk and stared at the black and white
photo of the little girl who had died in the fiery crash. Six years old, the
same age his daughter would have been. Trey couldn’t comprehend why he had been
spared when a little girl with her whole life ahead of her had been taken. If
he could, he would have traded places with her in a heartbeat, given her a
chance at the life his daughter deserved.
A knock on the door of his studio interrupted his reverie and he
silently wished he could escape. Escape the questions and expectations of a
world where he no longer felt he belonged.
“Come
in.”
His
sister poked her head in the door. “Hey, just heard you on the radio, big
shot.”
He
smiled. His sister was one of the few people who could still make him smile.
Perhaps because she didn’t see him as Trey Turner, money machine. She simply
saw him as her over-protective big brother.
He
and his sister had always been close, especially before and during his
marriage. Marisa and his ex-wife had become fast friends, bonding like sisters
soon after they met. She tried not to take sides, but he knew she blamed him
for the marriage falling apart. Marisa made the effort to maintain contact with
him, but their relationship hadn’t been the same since his divorce. Nothing in
his life had been the same since his divorce.
He
sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. He rubbed his eyes and stroked the
two-day growth of beard. He knew he must look like hell, but he couldn’t summon
the energy to care. “What’s up, Marisa?”
“I
could ask you the same. You look like you’ve been on one hell of a bender.” She
eyed the highball of scotch on the desk. “Have you?”
“No,
just not sleeping much.” Truth be told, he felt like he hadn’t had a decent
night’s sleep in years.
She
glanced at the glass again, sighing. “Isn’t it a little early for that, Trey?”
He
chuckled, the sound unfamiliar to his own ears. It had been a long time since
he’d had any reason to laugh. “Honey,
it’s gotta be five o’clock somewhere.”
She
folded her arms across her chest and glared at him, but he could see the fear
and disappointment lurking beneath the anger.
“D--n
it. It’s not funny, Trey.”
Her
expression softened and he saw the pity. God, he hated to be pitied almost as
much as he hated feeling useless, inept, and washed up.
“I’m
worried about you. So are Mama and Daddy. You haven’t been the same since the
accident.”
He
slid the newspaper clipping under a stack of documents. He didn’t want her to
know he’d been obsessing about the past again. Why couldn’t he just let it go,
look to the future? Maybe he could stand the thought of a life without music if
he wasn’t facing it alone. He sighed. No sense wishing for the impossible.
“Nothing
to worry about, sis. I’m fine.”
“Prove
it.” She claimed the chair across from him. “Come to Jimmy’s tonight. You and I
haven’t spent any time together in months.”
He
shook his head. He hadn’t been back to his old haunt since the night of the
accident. He had been on the wagon that night, not a drop to drink, not that it
mattered. Two innocent people still lost their lives and he lost what little
remained of the life he’d known. If he hadn’t gone to the bar that night, he
wouldn’t have been on the road at two a.m., wouldn’t have rushed to the aid of
the minivans’ passengers. He wouldn’t have been holding the hand of that little
girl as he watched her slip away.
“Sorry,
not interested.”
Marisa
reached across the desk and put her hand on his arm. “Trey, please do this for
me.”
“That’s
the last place I want to go tonight.” He glanced at the date on his phone, a
neon reminder of that fateful day exactly one year ago. Not that he needed to
be reminded. The visions were burned in his memory like a bad horror flick on
perpetual rewind.
“I
think you need help.”
He
knew he needed help, had for years, but the only person who could help him
wanted to forget he was alive. “Spare me your dime-store psychology, Marisa.
Stick to what you know best, clothes and shoes.” He knew that would hit a
nerve, piss her off enough to drive her away.
“Do
you think we’re going to sit by and let you self-destruct again, Trey?”
Again. Like he had five years ago when Sierra left
him and he lost his will to live.
“You
were sober for almost three years. Why the hell are you doing this? You’re punishing yourself for an accident
that wasn’t even your fault.”
He
saw the tears in her eyes and hated that he was causing the people he loved so
much pain. He knew they would be better off without him. Maybe he should just
disappear. Hole up somewhere far away and drink away the past six years of his
life.
“This
may not have been my fault, but what about the other accident?” The accident
that took my baby girl and the woman I loved, he thought.
“You
have to stop punishing yourself for that. It wasn’t your fault.”
He
wondered, was it an accident or divine intervention? Maybe God was punishing
him for every thoughtless, selfish thing he’d ever done. Maybe He disapproved
of his tactics, trampling anyone and everyone on his mission to dominate the
country music industry. It was never enough. No matter how many awards he’d
won, records he’d sold, or millions he’d made, it had never been enough. He had
worked longer and harder every day in his quest for supremacy until he finally
wound up alone.
He
propped his elbows on the desk, dropping his head in his hands. “Maybe it was
an accident. I don’t know. What I do know is that my stupidity, my
recklessness, caused Sierra to go into labour ten weeks early. If I hadn’t been
arguing with her, I wouldn’t have been distracted. I would have been able to
stop in time.” He swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the grief blocking his
airway.
“We
lost our daughter because of me, Marisa.”
She
reached out to him, but he pushed her away. He didn’t want her sympathy, didn’t
deserve it.
“Sierra
has forgiven you, Trey. I think it’s time for you to forgive yourself.”
“Never,”
he whispered.
To
forgive himself would dishonor Callie’s memory. He had come to terms with who
he was: a self-indulgent, power-hungry, control freak, and because of his
failings, his angel had died before she had a chance at life. He wasn’t worthy
of forgiveness.
She
leaned back in her chair, staring at him like she was looking at a stranger.
“Is that why you haven’t been able to get past this accident? Because it
reminded you of what happened back then?”
He
got up and crossed the room, feeling trapped, like a caged animal desperate to
escape the confines of a life behind bars. Only he was trapped by gaping wounds
that time and booze couldn’t heal and mistakes that he couldn’t make up for, no
matter how much he wished he could.
“I
don’t want to talk about this anymore, Marisa. Please, just go.”
She
hesitated and he knew she wanted to object.
“Fine,”
she said softly. “I’ll leave, but only if you promise to come to Jimmy’s
tonight.”
He
just wanted to be alone, alone with his misery and memories. “I’ll be there.
Just go now, please.”
“Sierra,
please tell me you’ll talk to him.”
Sierra
Brooks turned her back on her former sister-in-law. She couldn’t allow herself
to get drawn in to her ex-husband’s world again, not when she had spent the
past five years fighting to rebuild the life he had worked so hard to destroy.
She loved Marisa, loved her parents, but her love for Trey had cost her
everything. She couldn’t go back, not when she’d worked so hard to move
forward.
“I
can’t. Please try to understand.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AUTHOR Bio and Links:
Cheryl began her
professional career as a nutritionist, but her love of books started at an
early age. She studied writing for many years before she decided to pursue her
passion as a full-time career. After receiving constructive criticism from
several well-known authors, Cheryl finally had the confidence to write her
first romance novel.
The first book in the
Nashville Nights series, Shameless, was a book that had been dwelling in
Cheryl’s subconscious for years. For her, the surprise came when the manuscript
began taking on a life of it’s own. Characters came to life, secondary
characters became more prominent, outlines were forgotten, and a single title
evolved into an eight book series, and another eight book spin-off series
entitled Nashville Nights, Next Generation.
One word would aptly
describe Cheryl: workaholic. She lives and breathes her writing, when she’s
sleeping, watching TV, driving, reading… it’s always in the periphery of her
mind. Her imagination rarely takes a holiday, even when she escapes to a sandy
beach with her husband and son, she’s planning, plotting, outlining, and
daydreaming.
Cheryl feels blessed to be
able to get up every day and do something she loves. The thousands of fans who
have embraced the Nashville Nights have made that possible. She writes for the
readers who ask for more, she writes to satisfy the muse residing inside of
her, but most of all, she writes because she couldn’t imagine doing anything
else with her life. It took her thirty-seven years to decide what she wanted to
be when she grew up, but now that she knows, she’s convinced she’s found her
purpose.
Book Information
Book Title: Shameless (Book
One, Nashville
Book Genre: Contemporary
Romance
Book Publisher: Self
published (Douglas Publishing)
Release Date: Currently
Available
Buy Links
Amazon Buy Link for
Shameless:
Barnes and Noble Buy Link
for Shameless:
All Romance Ebooks Buy Link
for Shameless:
Other Links
Website:
Facebook:
Cheryl
will be awarding:
- two(2) - $20 Amazon Gift Cards to randomly drawn commenters during the tour,
- and one(1) - $20 Gift Card to a randomly drawn host.
- Also, Cheryl will be awarding ten(10) trading card/cover flat packs to randomly drawn commenters during the tour (US/Canada),
- ten (10)digital books from the Nashville Nights series (winner's choice) to randomly drawn commenters during the tour
- and two(2) Swarovski crystal necklaces to randomly drawn commenters during the tour (US/Canada).
For more chances to win, please follow the entire tour!
Oh this sounds great. There have been so many rock star books lately, but not too many for other genres of music. As a recently converted fan of Country music, this series is being added to my wish list, RIGHT NOW!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing,
Marlena
charmedpoms(at)yahoo(dot)com
This is a really good excerpt. Lets me know the charactor a little better.
ReplyDeleteGreat excerpt. I would love to read the whole book. :)
ReplyDeleteanne.j2 (at) gmail.com
I am very interested to see how this story ends.
ReplyDeletemarypres(AT)gmail(DOT)com
Nice excerpt.
ReplyDeletebn100candg(at)hotmail(dot)com