Grateful to God

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Whenever I hear about all the horrific stories of parents killing their children, my heart always aches--of course, whose wouldn't? But something else always happens. I find myself thanking God that I got out of my marriage before something happened to me or to my daughter.

The first story that really affected me this way was just this summer. I remember sitting here in my home watching the local news (I live in Yelm, WA so this was on the local news), and I was deeply touched. The first thing God brought to my mind was, "See why I got You out." Okay, I'm sure He didn't say it quite like that, but this father caused me to flashback to my now ex-husband. My ex is mentally ill--though I didn't know that for several years. He at least has manic depression or probably schizophrenia. This father who murdered his child also is mentally ill, and one report said he was off his medicine.

While my daughter's father and I were still married, we used to clash a lot over how to take care of her. He believed in letting her decide when to go to bed and when to get up. He decided what she would eat. He was the one who really made all decisions regarding her care and discipline. He could control her even once I no longer allowed him to control me.

Once she turned 6 months old, he really didn't know what to do with her any more. He believed in keeping her on formula exclusively. I no longer could trust him to take care of her-especially once she was a year old. There was that harrowing moment before I started school one year that my mom called and said that he was with Martha and sounded suicidal. I rushed home--we were still in teacher training--and he was willing to get help. That last a couple weeks.

I am so grateful to God that He gave me a way to get out of my marriage. I didn't want to be a statistic. It's easy to say, "Oh, he never would have hurt her. He wouldn't do something like that." Well, I have heard stories from his sister that tell me he is capable of strange behavior. He began driving his car as his sister held onto the partially rolled down window of his car. He and his dad were at a stop sign, and since he didn't like the way his dad was driving, he took the keys out of the car (while his dad was stopped at the sign) and got out of the car (with the keys in his hand).

While it has been a tough road for me, I am glad that God has brought me to the other side! Thank You, Jesus!