Sunday, November 20, 2011

Solution Sunday--I Need To Stay Out of It!

Well, it is still Sunday here, and I know that this needs to be posted. God spoke to me in church today, and I honestly think I have direction in my personal life--even though it is not an easy task.

Those who know me well (and there really aren't that many) know that above all else, I will do just about anything to keep the peace and smooth things over.  I have done it my whole life.  I am willing to do whatever is needed to make things right.  I cannot live with a wedge between another person and me if I can do something to remove that wedge.  I am not one who is above humbling myself before others.

Now, I am not saying that any of the above is bad.  In fact, it is good.  God asks us to do many of those things.  I have been walked over so many times in my life that it often becomes a way of life.  My "knee jerk" reaction is to apologize for something I didn't even do wrong and to go out of my way to make the other person feel good about things.  And in many situations, this action diffuses everything, and life can go on.

Unfortunately, there is a drawback to acting this way--many, as a matter of fact.  Sometimes, when things don't get smoothed over, I blame myself and work extra hard to make things right.  And I don't rest until they are.  I think I sometimes get in the mindset of telling God, "I'll help you with this one.  I know I can set everything right, and You're not working fast enough, so I've got this one, Lord."  As I typed that, I know how ludicrous this sounds, but it is true.

For several years, I worked to make Martin become a Christian.  I worked to make him fall in love with me and want to marry me.  I worked to remove all obstacles between us.  I was certain that if I did this or did that or said that, the inevitable would happen.

I am happy to report that in spite of my meddling with God's will and trying to make it happen, God worked in spite of me.  And He still is.  Martin is not saved--at times, very far from it.  But I realized last time that Martin came, I had to back off. I had to allow God to use whatever means possible to bring about His plan, and I had to stay out of it.  The "meddler" within me needed to have a time out.  This was one situation that I could not fix, try though I may.

Now there are other wedges I cannot fix.  I see it between people I care about, and I want to do all I can to fix it.  So what did I do?  My "knee jerk" reaction got in the way again.  I began to meddle.  I tried to persuade each side why they should listen and maybe even why the other side had merit.  I tried to be sympathetic and correct whatever I heard that might be wrong.  I defended one view to the other.  And, as you can imagine, I loused it up again!  There I was trying to fix a problem that was "unfixable" in the natural sense.  I am not equal to the task.  In fact, trying to fix it nearly drove me out of my mind.  I could not think, and I could not breathe.  Stress was truly getting to me.

Today, as I sat in church, our pastor began teaching about the book of James.  James chapter one says a lot about trials and tribulations.  And I needed to hear what was being said.  I did a lot of crying as I listened.  And God spoke to me.  Kind of like this:  "Ruth, I can handle this situation.  It is not too big for me.  I knew this was going to happen, and it is a trial.  I need for you to stay out of it so I can work my will through it.  I can still work my will if you meddle, but you will go through a lot more unpleasantness if you don't stay out of it.  My daughter, you are working way too hard.  Please, stay out of it."

I knew at this point that I had done it again.  I thought I could fix the situation.  I thought that I could say the right thing, and the issue would be resolved.  Wrong.  In fact, if anything, my meddling had made it worse.  Even Martin spoke wisdom to me.  He told me I needed to stay out of it.  Amazing how God can speak through people even when they are not saved!

While I am still struggling, I know now that I cannot handle this problem myself.   I don't know how to.  And Satan certainly attacked today--right where he knew he could get me.  Thank God my car was not hurt, but I  had to go outside the store and cry a spell.  I found myself saying exactly what God needed me to say.  "I can't do it, Lord.  I don't understand.  I need Your help."  And indeed He did send help.

I would love to report and say that everything is fine now.  But it is not.  It is such a strange role--not meddling.  I am so used to it.  I don't even know why.  I guess it is just what I am used to do.  And it bothers me to no end to know what needs to happen, and it doesn't happen.

I know that things are not improving.  And I realize they may never be the way they need to be.  But according to the Lord and Savior of the universe, He is in control, and no one can thwart His plans.

So, I am doing my best to remind myself that I am staying out of it.  God is in control, and He does not need me to meddle.  I need to follow His leading, and I know that things will turn out as they should.  May I not forget that this is the solution that God needs me to follow.


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